To have, To hold, AND To help
It is not enough to have and to hold if we are not willing to help. The first two alone amount to possession. But when we are committed to helping our spouse we move beyond the desire to possess her into the God-honoring goal of promoting her good.
The perfect example is seen in Christ. It is not enough that he have the Church and be the sole recipient of her affections. It is not sufficient that he be head of the Church and lead her. He has an ongoing role of helping the Church; it began with the atoning work of the cross (Ephesians 5:25-27 – sacrifice, my brothers) and continues through the work of the Spirit (service, my brothers).
Men, we cannot just have and hold our wives. we must also help them. If you only view your wife as your helper (Genesis 2:18) you are missing the meaning of marriage, the lessons of the Lord in laying down His life for His bride, and the joy of helping her with her calling to serve Him. This is a lifetime of praying for her, promoting her development and growth, and seeking to better understand her needs.
In His grip by His grace,
Roderick Barnes